Why Getting Comfortable With Discomfort is So Important, And How Exercise Can Help
I’ve been in the fitness industry since 2007, and over the years I’ve noticed a pattern. The people who successfully stick to their healthy lifestyle goals don’t have fewer obstacles than other people, they’re just better at overcoming those obstacles and being consistent anyway. Lately I’ve been thinking about why that is, and I think that a willingness to be uncomfortable may be the key.
Tolerating some discomfort is essential to living a full, successful life. Many things that are worth doing are hard or unpleasant: going to school or work, eating your vegetables, setting boundaries and having difficult conversations, and of course, exercise.
If you avoid discomfort, it can seriously hold you back from achieving your full potential. If, on the other hand, you strengthen your tolerance muscles and build resilience, you’ll be able to overcome obstacles and create the life you want.
Is Discomfort Holding You Back?
Not too long ago I was speaking to a client who told me she wasn’t following through on the daily bike ride goal she’d set for herself. The reason: “I don’t like being in the sun. It’s so annoying. Even with sunscreen on, I feel like it’s melting my skin.”
As I reflected on this, I thought of my own run that afternoon. I had done a 5K at 11am in the sweltering Florida heat. I don’t like running in the heat, but that was the only time I had available that day and so I did it anyway. The sun was an obstacle for both of us, but I had overcome it and my client didn’t think she could.
I’ve heard this kind of thing over and over. A client who doesn’t take the stairs because they don’t want to get a little sweaty at work. Another who won’t do any exercises that involve lying on a gym bench because she doesn’t want to get her hair dirty. Dozens of people I’ve talked to (and millions more around the world) who don’t exercise because it feels hard or boring.
I’m not saying that these people are making excuses and that they just need to suck it up and do it anyway. The ability to tolerate discomfort is a skill, and it’s not something that comes easily to everyone.
There are people are naturally tolerant of discomfort and are able to push themselves to do hard things. Some people develop that trait through their childhood experiences, by playing sports or learning an instrument or doing something else that feels hard and frustrating in the moment but that yields benefits if you stick to it.
A person’s overall stress load and how meaningful their goals are to them also matters. If your “stress bucket” is almost full, you’re going to find it harder to muster the energy and motivation to add something else hard to your already hard days. And if your goals are really not that important to you, or they’re not aligned with your values and self-identity, it’s going to feel like there’s not much point in tolerating discomfort to get to them.
If your brain is wired to have a hard time with discomfort, that’s not your fault. But you can rewire it, slowly over time, with dedicated and deliberate practice.
How To Build A Tolerance For Discomfort
If your intolerance for discomfort is holding you back, it’s time to build the skill of getting more comfortable with discomfort.
Here are some strategies:
Reframe discomfort signals. When you feel uncomfortable, notice your inclination to withdraw or quit, and challenge that inclination. Reframe discomfort not as a sign to give up, but as a sign that you’re challenging yourself to grow.
Use exercise strategically and intentionally. Helping you get better at tolerating discomfort is just one of the many benefits of exercise, and you can structure your workouts specifically to help you build this skill.
For cardio exercise, incorporate some high intensity intervals into your workout. Push yourself hard for one minute, rest for minute, then repeat 4-5 times. You can also incorporate longer stretches of higher intensity into an otherwise more moderate cardio session. Go for a brisk walk and jog for the last five minutes, for example.
For strength training, you can deliberately use intensity techniques like “drop sets”, or slowing down your movement speed (that’s called increasing the “time under tension”) to create some controlled discomfort and practice becoming more resilient.
To learn more, check out my full article: Using Strength Training To Get Comfortable With Discomfort
When you use exercise to practice the skill of discomfort, do it with intention. Remind yourself of the value of discomfort before your workout when you set your “workout intention”, during your workout when you feel the uncomfortable sensations, and afterwards when you reflect on what you’ve achieved.
Try other strategies. Expose yourself to safe and controlled discomfort with cold showers, ice baths, or sauna. You can use other approaches as well, just make sure you’re not putting yourself in unsafe situations.
Start small. I’ve written several times about the value of “shrinking the change” and starting very small and easy, because it’s so important.
Creating too much discomfort all at once will just overwhelm you. Instead, start with something that feels achievable and build from there.
With my clients, we choose one small daily action as a practice session for getting more comfortable with discomfort. It might be a 2-minute bike ride or just one hard set early in their workout.
Accept, don’t suppress or distract. Here’s an analogy I learned in therapy: Imagine you’re in a swimming pool on a beautiful day. There’s a beach ball floating in the pool. For some reason you decide you don’t want that beach ball there, so you swim over and try to push it underwater. Of course, it pops right back up. So you keep pushing it under, trying to hold it there, and it just keeps popping back up.
That’s what it’s like to try to suppress your negative thoughts and emotions or try to distract yourself from discomfort. You waste your time and energy trying to push those unwanted feelings away, missing out on the relaxing time you could be having in the pool. And it doesn’t even work. It’s much better to simply let that beach ball float around. Who cares if it’s there?
You don’t have to try to do anything about your discomfort. Just sit with it, acknowledge and accept that it’s there and that it’s ok for it to be there.
The Bottom Line
Building a tolerance for discomfort is an important skill that can unlock your ability to follow through on a lot of different healthy lifestyle goals, including exercise and healthy eating. Exercise can help you deliberately practice that skill by creating the opportunity to experience and withstand some controlled discomfort in a safe environment.
If You Need Help
To start your strength training journey, download my FREE Strength Training 101 eBook. You’ll learn the basics of setting up your own strength training program, and it includes sample workouts to get you started.
For a more guided option, check out my Strength Training For Anxiety Program. This 12-week workout program has detailed instructions and videos so you know exactly how to do each exercise. It also includes bonus video lessons and resources to help you use exercise specifically to decrease anxiety and help you feel your best.
For personalized assistance, contact me. I provide personal training in-person and via Zoom, and I also write personalized programs for clients to do on their own, guided by an app. My programs are designed to improve both physical and mental health.
